LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
