I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
