My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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