We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
