I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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