Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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