dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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