i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
