Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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