he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
