Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
