Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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