Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
