I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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