Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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