i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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