You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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