I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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