Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just puked most of my soul out..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
