Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
