If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
