at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
