Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
