he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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