My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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