I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
