I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You made out with two different species that night
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
