Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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