I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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