I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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