My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
