Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
