I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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