Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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