it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
