She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
