just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
