Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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