I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
