watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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