Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
