69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
