dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
