sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
