After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
