Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I will pee on everything he values.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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