I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
