Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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