I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
