her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
