i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
