wat bout pragnant strippers??
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
